The 10 Human Regrets

FeaturedThe 10 Human Regrets

Only the mediocre die always at their best. Real leaders are always improving- and raising their bar on how superbly they can perform and how quickly they can move.

-JEAN GIRAUDOUX

Have you ever regretted forgoing an opportunity or chance in your life path that would have proven a sure and better prospect in propelling you toward your personal vision and self improvement goal? What could be the one dreaded thing that lives and eats life away within you and scares the sense out of you yet you keep pushing it further, never get enough time to really confront and do away with it…? Personally i regret not taking up one particular job offer, within one company i so much wanted to work for even for a day…because i was so scared of the work load and culture shock i would meet…plus too much negative opinions from my ‘trusted friends’…how can i just jump onto this when i haven’t even stayed in my current job for 3 weeks…what will my boss think of me…blah blah…

Eventually i found a place in my heart to forgive myself and more importantly learn more about my fears and drives as an individual. What really motivates me…what puts me off…how far can i embrace uncertainty…and most of all how much faith do i have? I realized that getting lost along your path is a part of finding the path you’re meant to be on. Sometimes we need to get off track before we can develop the clarity to be on track.

On that note i owe deep gratitude to one special person in my life, who through their influence, subtle nudge, a strong presence even in absence, iced with a worthy reading culture, has proven to be a constant beam and pillar to motivating me in creating a habit of reading meaningfully.( Of course i have been an ardent reader but truthfully…most of the time just for fun and entertainment. Nothing more or less…). They lent me this book from which i base today’s title…with a usual reminder of how the rich and most successful people tend to also possess the largest libraries. Odd. Simple. Plain. True.

‘A hare inherits a swifter pace than a snail, but a snail may distance him in the end by  slow and sure progress day after day. It is not usually the most brilliant scholar in a college class that wins the valedictory or the highest place in after life. His very brilliance is his peril, for he depends upon it rather than upon hard work, which is the winning horse in the race of life, even though he gets a head-start.’

What our society,businesses,families and communities lack and are in dire need of are enthusiastic,initiative and responsible young men and women ready to be leaders without a title. No one needs formal authority to lead- only a desire. A will to be involved and the commitment to making a positive difference. It starts with an excellence in our current roles.

Leadership has nothing to do with what you get or where you sit. Leadership is a lot more about how brilliantly you work and how masterfully you behave. Right where you stand. One cannot be creative and innovative if they are too scared to think ,feel and be different. Everyone is an original copy of themselves ( unless of course there is a duplicate of you in existence somewhere…i hope not 🙂

So lets dive into this 10 regrets…enough blubbering.

  1. You reach your last day with the brilliant song that your life was meant to sing still silent within you.
  2. You reach your last day without ever having experienced the natural power that inhabits within you to do great work and achieve greater things.
  3. You reach your last day realizing  that you never inspired anyone else by the example you set.
  4. You reach your last day full of pain at the realization that you never took any bold risks and so never received any bright rewards.
  5. You reach your last day understanding that you missed the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the mastery because you bought the lie that you had to be resigned to mediocrity.
  6. You reach your last day and feel heartbroken that you never learned the skill of transforming adversity into victory and lead into gold.
  7. You reach your last day regretting that you forgot that work is about being radically helpful to others rather than being helpful only to yourself.
  8. You reach your last day with the awareness that you ended living the life that society trained you to want versus leading the life you truly wanted to have.
  9. You reach your last day and awaken to the fact that you never realized your absolute best nor touched the special genius that you were built to become.
  10. You reach your last day and discover you could have been a leader and left this world so much better than you found it. But you refused to accept that mission because you were just too scared. So you failed. And wasted a life.

Many times we play victim and blame everything outside of us for the mess we find ourselves in. When we learn to assume responsibility for the place we are now, we begin to realize that each one of us alone creates the lives we get to live. Choices make or break us.

It is estimated that we live an average of 960 months.(subtract the ones you’ve already lived...) Life is short if you really slow down and think about it. Remembering the shortness of life strips away all distractions of life and reminds us what’s most important. Will you just die and be manure or will you leave something to be accredited to you? You do not have to be a freedom fighter or the president. Start where you are. Trust me noble acts have a way of getting out and about.

Ref:

Robin Sharma, The Leader Who Had No Title: A Modern Fable On Real Success In Business And In Life. Pg. 45&46

Wilbur, Successful Men Of Today Pg. 32

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Is The Majority Always Right?

FeaturedIs The Majority Always Right?

I have always found it fascinating and quite intriguing when you consider that thought processes are not just mere patterns of routine brain activity but rather complex and highly enigmatic energy shots that lighten up certain areas of our minds, consequently…our entire system. Living in present plays a vital role in generating new thought patterns.

While riding the bus to work this morning, i let my mind flow and be carried away to the lush green grass and bush stubs that cover the pleasantly adoring Nairobi National Park. The tall,graceful giraffes i could see from a distant were already up and religiously engrossed in an almost ritual-like grazing routine. Further ahead i could catch a glimpse of the beautiful ostrich flapping its huge heavy wings, maybe signifying a new mode for the day ahead…till a cool gust of wind, breezy zephyr jolted me to the throbbing noise inside the matatu.

” If you arrest him you are arresting another tone of 45 million other citizens…let our people come out in large numbers and vote for better. Vote for change…We ought to send them home this time…,” the heated radio conversation rumbled on as i unsuccessfully tried to listen in and connect the dots. At the back of my mind i kept on wondering how much will power ‘democracy’ yields and how extensively majority power dynamics influence our daily lives as citizens. Whether we consciously notice it or are swept unknowingly in the masses.

Some few years back in high school,my literature curriculum included a play- An Enemy of the People ( i consider it a privilege to have studied it) authored by famous playwright and who most consider as the father of modern realism- Henrik Ibsen. The drama predominantly addresses the hypocrisy of society as a rotten sepulcher that tolerates moral degradation as exemplified from the highest ranking of power hierarchy, the noblest, to the humblest of persons in society. Moderation. Democracy. Though written as a response to disapprove the hypocrisy exuded by leadership during the Victorian Age, i figured the dynamics and patterns are relatively ,if not completely the same as in our current society as a nation.

Ibsen humorously lays out the play, with a guised, resilient backdrop that seeks to address issues that even our present society has problems grappling with; corruption;moral decay; shrewd deals and an elusive address of justice for the minority in society. The common denominator reiterates to the ‘fact’ that ‘the majority is always  deemed right.’ I find it true that ideas grow stale and platitudinous- they  die. Henrik ,through his main character Dr. Stockmann, shoots straight that there aren’t absolute principles of either wisdom or morality. Everything is relative.

He further portrays that the masses are nothing but raw material that must be fashioned into the people. Most of them are not ready to stand up, but are rather intimidated and ruffled at the thought of facing down the hypocrisy of the aristocracy clothed as a democracy within their current jurisdictions. They are people run down completely by the brain wash of governmental bureaucrats and unsated political mongrels’ greed for power and wealth. This makes it imperative for individuals to cultivate humane qualities that will shape a society and masses into a more rational and educated level, one that fully understand and participate in real democracy.

Majority rule dynamics are deep rooted in the Bible era too. For instance the time the Israelites are sojourning to Canaan from Egypt; Moses being a sensible leader sends forth a 12 man reconnaissance party to go out and spy the land. After several weeks this party returns and gives an account of what they observed. Unanimously they agree that it is a beautiful, fertile country with strongly defended cities and with men of huge stature. However, when it comes to the final verdict whether or not to pursue the promised land and take over, there is disintegration of 10 against 2- Joshua and Caleb.

It is clear that victory had been guaranteed to them from God but due to majority mentality the Israelites are thrown into a panic frenzy and become uncontrollable. Some even suggest hysterically that they go back to Egypt! See how majority power waters down a pre-determined course of action? It only needed a few influencers to press the correct buttons and exert an adequate amount of pressure for the masses to go berserk like untamed mindless creatures without a sense of sanity or reasoning ability to make logical decisions on their own. Fear, Irrationality. An enormous lack of faith and confidence. A risk averse mentality.

Even though they finally reach the promised land, the Israelites have to spend a painstakingly 40 years extra time to achieve it. Something they could have done roughly in a year after crossing the Red Sea. Look around you…Within you…do you have the guts to confront what is wrong and stand for what you believe is right and can benefit the community and society? Soon we are casting the vote. How mentally prepared are you? Do you vote for change or a community,family,tradition,party and popularity?

It’s deeply embedded within the human nature to want to be associated with and affiliated to things, people, organizations, movements – innocent on their own- but life threatening and huge impediments to personal and societal growth if supported for all the wrong reasons as vessels to put pressure and bring about a shift in dynamics. Whatever the reasons you are affiliated to a political alignment, activist movement…think…is the cause right for development or is it just cool and popular with no real issues to be addressed?

The majority is not always right and only the strongest man stands alone.

How firm are you?

 

What’s Holding You Back? ( sharpen your subconscious)

Did you know…

Zookeepers typically strap a thin metal chain to a grown elephant’s leg and then attach the other end to a small wooden peg that’s hammered into the ground. The 10-foot tall, 10,000-pound elephant could easily snap the chain, uproot the wooden peg and escape to freedom with minimal effort. But it doesn’t. In fact the elephant never even tries. The world’s most powerful land animal, which can uproot a tree as easily as you could break a toothpick, remains defeated by a small wooden peg and a flimsy chain.

Why?

Because when the elephant was a baby, its trainers used the exact same methods to domesticate it. A thin chain was strapped around its leg and the other end of the chain was tied to a wooden peg in the ground. 

At the time, the chain and peg were strong enough to restrain the baby elephant. When it tried to break away, the metal chain would pull it back. Sometimes, tempted by the world it could see in the distance, the elephant would pull harder. But the chain would not budge, and soon the baby elephant realized trying to escape was not possible. So it stopped trying.

Now that the elephant is all grown up, it sees the chain and the peg and it remembers what it learned as a baby – the chain and peg are impossible to escape. 

Of course this is no longer true, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter that the 200-pound baby is now a 10,000-pound powerhouse. The elephant’s self-limiting thoughts and beliefs prevail!

The key thing to realize is this: We need to learn from the past, but be ready to update what we learned based on how our circumstances have changed (as they constantly do).

In other words, we have to learn to think better about the past and present, so we can ultimately live better from here on out. 

All too often we let the rejections from our past dictate every move we make. We literally don’t know ourselves to be any better than what some opinionated person or a narrow patch in life once tended our thoughts into thinking that some negative aspects about who we are is true. An old rejection never means we are not good enough; it’s just a sign some person or circumstance from the past was not aligned with what we had to offer them at the moment. 

However,sadly enough,we don’t see it that way- hence we snug and hit a mental barricade that stops us cold in our tracks. This is one of the most common damaging thought patterns we most often sucuumb to.

Even though we intellectually know that we’re stronger and our strengths plus mental capacities have stretched-compared to what we were at the past- the subconscious mind always forgets to roger and copy these changes. And this all the more raises the need to keep sharpening the mind and pushing forward without relent.

It only takes 21 days to create a habit and 90 days to settle into that lifestyle. Remember you are never alone, we’re all struggling and pushing in our lanes of life and I know things always get better- only when you keep the hope alive.

Thinking better takes guidance and practice.

*adopted from Hacklife

Authentic – Live, Don’t Just Exist!(Learn & Believe).


“I don’t think others like me. They like versions of me that I have somehow spun for them… versions of me that they have invented in their minds… versions of me with only the characteristics that are easy to like. But that’s not who I really am. And it scares me. After all, who’s going to like the girl that can’t stop second-guessing herself? The girl that cries? The girl that’s losing control? The girl that hides from her problems? The girl that keeps pushing everyone away? Who’s going to like the weakness in me… who’s going to like the real me?”

I have struggled with these thoughts before while going through a moderate bout of depression. What gradually healed me was the realization that running away from myself was a race I’d never win — that the willingness to own my truth and be openly vulnerable about it was the only path forward. 

Doing so, of course, wasn’t easy — it’s one of the most brutal lessons I’ve ever had to learn. And yet, it’s this lesson that ultimately makes my life more beautiful, by showing me how to thrive even through the toughest of times.

Being vulnerable means accepting who you are and having the courage to share it with the world. To show up, not as who you think you should be or who you want people to think you are, but as the real YOU, and to be open and welcoming to however the world responds. It’s risky, but not nearly as hazardous as giving up on true love and honesty and acceptance – the priceless experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the dark corners of ourselves will we discover the hidden power of our inner light.

 So please remember, no matter what age, race or sex you are, underneath all your external decorations you are a pure, beautiful being. You have light to shine, and missions to accomplish. Celebrate being different, off the beaten path, a little on the weird side, your own special creation. If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new stream to swim in. But don’t deny yourself… embrace yourself!

Be YOU in a world that’s trying to influence every move you make.

Take the road less traveled when it feels right under your feet.

Do more than just exist. We all exist. The question is: Do you live?

Own your truth. And LIVE!

So you can learn from life and believe in your journey again.

In fact, only remember two words from this: “Learn” and “Believe.”

*Learn: learn through experience. Learn from others. Remain humble, open-minded and teachable. Put yourself out there and let it all sink it. Push yourself to the edge of your comfort zone, so you can expand it and grow a little more confident every day.

*Believe… in yourself and your ability to succeed. Believe in your intuition, especially when you have to choose between two good paths. Believe that the answers are out there waiting. Believe that life will surprise you again and again. Believe that it’s all worth your while. Believe that you are confident enough to see it through.

#happy valentines. Lots of love 🙂

Train up A Child on a Path and he Will Not Depart From It.

Sacred history provides many illustrations of the results of true education. It presents many noble examples of people whose lives were a blessing to others and who stood in the world as representatives of God. Among these are Joseph, Daniel and Moses.

In early life, just as they were passing from youth to manhood, Joseph and Daniel were separated from their homes and carried as captives to heathen lands. Especially was Joseph subject to the temptations that attend great changes of fortune.

In his father’s home he was a tenderly cherished child, in the house of Potiphar a slave, in Pharaoh’s dungeon a prisoner of state, condemned unjustly. However, at a time of great crisis, he was called to leadership in the nation of Egypt. What enabled him to preserve his integrity?

In his childhood, Joseph had been taught the love and fear of God. Often he had been told the stories surrounding the faith, life and works of his forefathers. Their struggles and victories in life through an abiding and steadfast faith and focus on the infinite one.

Moreover as a shepherd boy tending his father’s flock, Joseph’s pure and simple life had favored the development of both physical and mental power. By communion with God through nature and study of the great truths handed down as a sacred trust from father to son, he had gained strength of mind and firmness of principle. 

In the crisis of his life, when making that terrible journey from his childhood home in Canaan to the bondage that awaited him his soul thrilled with the high resolve to prove himself true to God- under all circumstances- to act as a subjectof the king of heaven. 

He would serve the lord with an undivided heart; he would meet the trials of his lot with fortitude and perform every duty with fidelity. One day’s experience had been the turning point in Joseph’s life subject of terrible calamity had transformed him from a petted child to a man,thoughtful,courageous, and self- possessed. 

No one can stand upon a lofty height without danger. As the tempest that leaves unharmed the flower of the valley uproots the tree upon the mountain top, so do fierce temptations that leave untouched the lowlyin life assail those  who stand in the world’s high places. But Joseph bore alike the test of adversity and of prosperity. The same fidelity was manifest in the palace of the pharaohs as in the prisoner’s cell. 

What’s was Joseph’s not so hidden secret?

Loyalty to God, faith in the unseen were his anchor. In this lay the hiding of his power. Having been brought up in the fear of the almighty God and experiencing his ever present saving grace and power in his life Joseph thrived in all stages of his young life into a successful adulthood and life of service. 

Only when we realize that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge and wisdom do our lives begin to have a deeper sense and we all find a true purpose in life . Only fools despise knowledge and understanding.



#real

With a new year comes new expectations and resolutions- maybe brought forward from the previous year or freshly redrafted. Bottom line is life can set you on a never ending high pressure roll a coaster. 
If you simply feel like life has been tougher than usual lately, here are some mantras i find useful personally to help you get your thinking back on track, so you can feel better about today and what must be done…

1. No matter what, you can always fight the battles of just today. It’s only when you add the infinite battles of yesterday and tomorrow that life gets overly complicated. Always focus on taking life a day at a time. A step at a time.


2. Never assume that you are stuck with the way things are right now. Life changes every single second, and so can you. Change is the only constant thing in life. Be flexible and look forward to it.

3. Life always begins now – right now – not tomorrow or the next day or the next. It means you can have the new beginning you want whenever you want. When we realize our lives are all about our choices and we have control and will over what we choose to do…there is never a right time to start than now.

4. Even when it’s tough, wear a smile. Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re happy – sometimes it simply means you’re strong. And you are. Plus positive vibes do attract positive responses. Dullness dampens the spirit.

5. Think of all the hundreds of thousands of steps and missteps and chances and coincidences that have brought you here. In a way it feels like the biggest miracle in the world, doesn’t it? Keep this in mind, and meditate on the fact that you are a work in progress, and every great success requires some kind of struggle to get there. Even if you feel vision less you are where you are supposed to be today and at this moment. Live it. Learn it. Explore it. Above all..enjoy it for it may be a one off thing.

The bottom line is that you can use pain, frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you. Be mindful. Stress primarily comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. Adjust your attitude and the stress is gone. You control the way you look at life.

Ultimately, your hardest challenges will teach you your best lessons. Stay positive, work hard, make it happen, one small step at a time. Be careful not to fall back into your old patterns. Toxic habits and behaviors always try to sneak back in when you’re doing better. Stay focused.

*Marcandangel

Legacy- who will remember you, for what?

When we don’t learn lessons at the right time, life will teach us the same lessons at the wrong time.

Death today is a common experience to most, if not all of us folks. If I’m not the one writhing to the painful tunes it leaves behind savagely, someone else, sure is dancing under its realm. 

Over the past decade I have lost and seen many of my loved ones go from the face of the earth into the deep sleep of death.

 Some have gone with their good deeds trailing slowly behind them while some, sad to say, have melted away like dew. More like they never existed. Extinct.

One thing evident about death, as much as it rouses wanton and dark thoughts, is that it chooses anyone and can come at any age or time. When I was young I thought only old people die…full of life’s experiences and rich,ripe in age but growing up, I have buried someone close who was barely out of teenage hood with all their dreams and ambitions tossed into nothingness like chaff. It’s sad but it’s the reality of life.

If today were your last day on earth, how would you be remembered?

Life is a blink. It all rushes by in a fast, little flash when you really get down to it. The time to think about legacy and how you want to be remembered is not on your last day but now. That way you can live your life backward and make certain that you have a good ending.

Unfortunately most of us don’t figure out what work and life are all about until we’re too old to do anything about it. Most people dont discover how to live until just before they die.

During their best years, too many are in a walking coma. Not really conscious to what’s truly important in life: showing leadership,actualizing your potential and doing your part to change the world through the work you are doing and the person you are becoming.

Only when confronted with the wake up call of an imminent end do the sleep walkers start to dig beyond the superficial and go deep. They begin to realize that at birth they’d received stunning talents and precious gifts along with the corresponding responsibility to polish that genius so they could express itself over them in the process. 

By the time all this sinks in and it’s time to figure it out; it’s too late to do anything about it. So they die unfulfilled.

Are you a sleep walker sailing aimlessly through life? What’s your purpose? Any legacy you’ll leave if today was your last day on earth?

8 Things in Life you should start doing

“If only…”  These two words paired together create one of the saddest phrases in the English language.


Here are eight choices that ultimately lead to this phrase of regret, and how to elude them throughout 2018:

1.  Worrying about mistakes you’ve already made. – It’s OK if you’ve messed up in the past; that’s how you get wiser. Give yourself a break. Don’t give up. Great things take time, and you’re getting there. Let your mistakes be your motivation, not your excuses. Decide right now that negative experiences from your past won’t predict your future.

2.  Wearing a mask to impress others. – If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it.  Because when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are.  So don’t fear the judgments of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you.  You don’t have to be perfect to impress people.  Let them be impressed by how you deal with your imperfections.

3.  Keeping negative company. – Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude give it to you.  Don’t let them get to you.  They can’t pull the trigger if you don’t hand them the gun.  When you remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation, you free yourself to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead of anxiety.

4.  Holding tight to resentment. – Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness, nor forgiveness for acceptance. It’s about knowing that resentment is not on the path to happiness. Remember, you don’t forgive people because you’re weak. You forgive them because you’re strong enough to know that people make mistakes.

5.  Settling for less than you deserve. – Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to fight for what you deserve.  Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller than you ever were before.  Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision again.  Don’t settle.

6.  Endlessly waiting until tomorrow. – The trouble is, you always think you have more time than you do.  But one day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do.  And at that point you either will have achieved the goals you set for yourself, or you will have a list of excuses for why you haven’t.

7.  Being lazy and wishy-washy. – The world doesn’t owe you anything, you owe the world something.  So stop daydreaming and start DOING.  Develop a backbone, not a wishbone.  Take full responsibility for your life – take control.  You are important and you are needed.  It’s too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday.  Someday is now; the somebody the world needs is YOU.

8.  Being more busy than you are productive. – There’s a big difference between being busy and being productive. Don’t confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but never makes any forward progress.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  At the end of it, let there be no excuses, no explanations, and no regrets.  You can make adjustments starting NOW that will help you feel better, think more clearly, and live a life free of regrets.

Own your life…

How to think better about things you can’t change

Ready for the truth?

Most of your stress comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. And when you adjust your thinking, all that extra stress is gone.

There is a real opportunity in every difficult situation to understand yourself more deeply, and also to improve your life.

I encourage you to reflect on recent situations where you’ve felt let down – where life’s outcomes were nowhere near as good as you expected. Rather than focusing on the uncontrollable things that were “done to you,” consider instead your part in what went down. For example, perhaps your gut told you not to do something, but you did so anyway. Or maybe you were deceived a second time by the same person, and wish you had let go of the relationship sooner. Or perhaps you just weren’t paying attention and ended up missing out on a great opportunity.

It’s so easy to be negative when things go wrong, or blame others for negative outcomes in your life. But do negativity and blame change anything for the better?

No!

Truth be told, the best time to be positive and take responsibility for your own peace of mind is when you don’t feel like it. Because that’s when doing so can make the biggest difference.

No matter what the specifics of your troubled times are, taking a moment to look inward at what you could have done differently and how you could potentially avoid similar situations in the future can be a healthy exercise. This is not to blame yourself or shame yourself, but simply to give you the opportunity to learn, on a higher level, from your experiences.

It’s about learning to choose the most effective response in a difficult, uncontrollable life situation.

It’s about learning to think better so you can ultimately live better, no matter what.

The key is to realize that no matter what happens, you can choose your attitude and inner dialog, which dictates pretty much everything that happens next. Truly, the greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another – to train our minds to see the good in what we’ve got, even when it’s far less than we expected.

It’s about choosing: Will I allow this to upset me? Will I choose to make this bad or good? Will I choose to stay or walk away? Will I choose to yell or whisper? Will I choose to react or take the time to respond?

Sometimes changing your situation isn’t possible – or simply not possible soon enough. You can’t get to a new job in an instant. You can’t make someone else change against his or her will. And you certainly can’t erase the past. But…

You CAN always choose a mindset that moves you forward. And doing so will help you change things from the inside out, and ultimately allow you to grow beyond the struggles you can’t control at this moment.

Here’s a powerful question that will support you with a positive attitude adjustment when you need it most:

Who would you be, and what else would you see, if you removed the thought that’s worrying you?

Think about it…

Identify a specific thought that’s been troubling your worried mind lately, and then visualize how your life would be different if you removed this thought:

  • How would it change your outlook on your present life situation?
  • What other possibilities and opportunities might you see?
  • What else would you be able to accomplish with this shift in your focus?


*source: marcandangel