The 10 Human Regrets

FeaturedThe 10 Human Regrets

Only the mediocre die always at their best. Real leaders are always improving- and raising their bar on how superbly they can perform and how quickly they can move.

-JEAN GIRAUDOUX

Have you ever regretted forgoing an opportunity or chance in your life path that would have proven a sure and better prospect in propelling you toward your personal vision and self improvement goal? What could be the one dreaded thing that lives and eats life away within you and scares the sense out of you yet you keep pushing it further, never get enough time to really confront and do away with it…? Personally i regret not taking up one particular job offer, within one company i so much wanted to work for even for a day…because i was so scared of the work load and culture shock i would meet…plus too much negative opinions from my ‘trusted friends’…how can i just jump onto this when i haven’t even stayed in my current job for 3 weeks…what will my boss think of me…blah blah…

Eventually i found a place in my heart to forgive myself and more importantly learn more about my fears and drives as an individual. What really motivates me…what puts me off…how far can i embrace uncertainty…and most of all how much faith do i have? I realized that getting lost along your path is a part of finding the path you’re meant to be on. Sometimes we need to get off track before we can develop the clarity to be on track.

On that note i owe deep gratitude to one special person in my life, who through their influence, subtle nudge, a strong presence even in absence, iced with a worthy reading culture, has proven to be a constant beam and pillar to motivating me in creating a habit of reading meaningfully.( Of course i have been an ardent reader but truthfully…most of the time just for fun and entertainment. Nothing more or less…). They lent me this book from which i base today’s title…with a usual reminder of how the rich and most successful people tend to also possess the largest libraries. Odd. Simple. Plain. True.

‘A hare inherits a swifter pace than a snail, but a snail may distance him in the end by  slow and sure progress day after day. It is not usually the most brilliant scholar in a college class that wins the valedictory or the highest place in after life. His very brilliance is his peril, for he depends upon it rather than upon hard work, which is the winning horse in the race of life, even though he gets a head-start.’

What our society,businesses,families and communities lack and are in dire need of are enthusiastic,initiative and responsible young men and women ready to be leaders without a title. No one needs formal authority to lead- only a desire. A will to be involved and the commitment to making a positive difference. It starts with an excellence in our current roles.

Leadership has nothing to do with what you get or where you sit. Leadership is a lot more about how brilliantly you work and how masterfully you behave. Right where you stand. One cannot be creative and innovative if they are too scared to think ,feel and be different. Everyone is an original copy of themselves ( unless of course there is a duplicate of you in existence somewhere…i hope not 🙂

So lets dive into this 10 regrets…enough blubbering.

  1. You reach your last day with the brilliant song that your life was meant to sing still silent within you.
  2. You reach your last day without ever having experienced the natural power that inhabits within you to do great work and achieve greater things.
  3. You reach your last day realizing  that you never inspired anyone else by the example you set.
  4. You reach your last day full of pain at the realization that you never took any bold risks and so never received any bright rewards.
  5. You reach your last day understanding that you missed the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the mastery because you bought the lie that you had to be resigned to mediocrity.
  6. You reach your last day and feel heartbroken that you never learned the skill of transforming adversity into victory and lead into gold.
  7. You reach your last day regretting that you forgot that work is about being radically helpful to others rather than being helpful only to yourself.
  8. You reach your last day with the awareness that you ended living the life that society trained you to want versus leading the life you truly wanted to have.
  9. You reach your last day and awaken to the fact that you never realized your absolute best nor touched the special genius that you were built to become.
  10. You reach your last day and discover you could have been a leader and left this world so much better than you found it. But you refused to accept that mission because you were just too scared. So you failed. And wasted a life.

Many times we play victim and blame everything outside of us for the mess we find ourselves in. When we learn to assume responsibility for the place we are now, we begin to realize that each one of us alone creates the lives we get to live. Choices make or break us.

It is estimated that we live an average of 960 months.(subtract the ones you’ve already lived...) Life is short if you really slow down and think about it. Remembering the shortness of life strips away all distractions of life and reminds us what’s most important. Will you just die and be manure or will you leave something to be accredited to you? You do not have to be a freedom fighter or the president. Start where you are. Trust me noble acts have a way of getting out and about.

Ref:

Robin Sharma, The Leader Who Had No Title: A Modern Fable On Real Success In Business And In Life. Pg. 45&46

Wilbur, Successful Men Of Today Pg. 32

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Is The Majority Always Right?

FeaturedIs The Majority Always Right?

I have always found it fascinating and quite intriguing when you consider that thought processes are not just mere patterns of routine brain activity but rather complex and highly enigmatic energy shots that lighten up certain areas of our minds, consequently…our entire system. Living in present plays a vital role in generating new thought patterns.

While riding the bus to work this morning, i let my mind flow and be carried away to the lush green grass and bush stubs that cover the pleasantly adoring Nairobi National Park. The tall,graceful giraffes i could see from a distant were already up and religiously engrossed in an almost ritual-like grazing routine. Further ahead i could catch a glimpse of the beautiful ostrich flapping its huge heavy wings, maybe signifying a new mode for the day ahead…till a cool gust of wind, breezy zephyr jolted me to the throbbing noise inside the matatu.

” If you arrest him you are arresting another tone of 45 million other citizens…let our people come out in large numbers and vote for better. Vote for change…We ought to send them home this time…,” the heated radio conversation rumbled on as i unsuccessfully tried to listen in and connect the dots. At the back of my mind i kept on wondering how much will power ‘democracy’ yields and how extensively majority power dynamics influence our daily lives as citizens. Whether we consciously notice it or are swept unknowingly in the masses.

Some few years back in high school,my literature curriculum included a play- An Enemy of the People ( i consider it a privilege to have studied it) authored by famous playwright and who most consider as the father of modern realism- Henrik Ibsen. The drama predominantly addresses the hypocrisy of society as a rotten sepulcher that tolerates moral degradation as exemplified from the highest ranking of power hierarchy, the noblest, to the humblest of persons in society. Moderation. Democracy. Though written as a response to disapprove the hypocrisy exuded by leadership during the Victorian Age, i figured the dynamics and patterns are relatively ,if not completely the same as in our current society as a nation.

Ibsen humorously lays out the play, with a guised, resilient backdrop that seeks to address issues that even our present society has problems grappling with; corruption;moral decay; shrewd deals and an elusive address of justice for the minority in society. The common denominator reiterates to the ‘fact’ that ‘the majority is always  deemed right.’ I find it true that ideas grow stale and platitudinous- they  die. Henrik ,through his main character Dr. Stockmann, shoots straight that there aren’t absolute principles of either wisdom or morality. Everything is relative.

He further portrays that the masses are nothing but raw material that must be fashioned into the people. Most of them are not ready to stand up, but are rather intimidated and ruffled at the thought of facing down the hypocrisy of the aristocracy clothed as a democracy within their current jurisdictions. They are people run down completely by the brain wash of governmental bureaucrats and unsated political mongrels’ greed for power and wealth. This makes it imperative for individuals to cultivate humane qualities that will shape a society and masses into a more rational and educated level, one that fully understand and participate in real democracy.

Majority rule dynamics are deep rooted in the Bible era too. For instance the time the Israelites are sojourning to Canaan from Egypt; Moses being a sensible leader sends forth a 12 man reconnaissance party to go out and spy the land. After several weeks this party returns and gives an account of what they observed. Unanimously they agree that it is a beautiful, fertile country with strongly defended cities and with men of huge stature. However, when it comes to the final verdict whether or not to pursue the promised land and take over, there is disintegration of 10 against 2- Joshua and Caleb.

It is clear that victory had been guaranteed to them from God but due to majority mentality the Israelites are thrown into a panic frenzy and become uncontrollable. Some even suggest hysterically that they go back to Egypt! See how majority power waters down a pre-determined course of action? It only needed a few influencers to press the correct buttons and exert an adequate amount of pressure for the masses to go berserk like untamed mindless creatures without a sense of sanity or reasoning ability to make logical decisions on their own. Fear, Irrationality. An enormous lack of faith and confidence. A risk averse mentality.

Even though they finally reach the promised land, the Israelites have to spend a painstakingly 40 years extra time to achieve it. Something they could have done roughly in a year after crossing the Red Sea. Look around you…Within you…do you have the guts to confront what is wrong and stand for what you believe is right and can benefit the community and society? Soon we are casting the vote. How mentally prepared are you? Do you vote for change or a community,family,tradition,party and popularity?

It’s deeply embedded within the human nature to want to be associated with and affiliated to things, people, organizations, movements – innocent on their own- but life threatening and huge impediments to personal and societal growth if supported for all the wrong reasons as vessels to put pressure and bring about a shift in dynamics. Whatever the reasons you are affiliated to a political alignment, activist movement…think…is the cause right for development or is it just cool and popular with no real issues to be addressed?

The majority is not always right and only the strongest man stands alone.

How firm are you?

 

How to think better

Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

I bet you do! I know the feeling. We all doubt ourselves sometimes – it’s human nature. And the really crazy thing is, we think everyone else is doing better than us. But they aren’t.

Every day we’re comparing apples with oranges – comparing our insides with other people’s outsides. In today’s always-connected world it’s even harder to keep things in perspective. Our lives are literally unfolding on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. We use these social networks, not surprisingly, to showcase the best parts of our lives: the beautiful weddings and enviable honeymoons, the finished projects, and the best smiles. But we forget that we’re only seeing everyone else’s highlight reel too – not the sleepless nights, the failed attempts, the moments of grief and self-doubt.

Sometimes the indirect pressure to compete and keep up — coming through social media from peers, family, work colleagues, and society in general — is enough to make us feel completely broken inside. If we don’t have the “right” job, relationship, lifestyle, and so forth, by a certain age or time frame, we assume we’re just “not good enough.” And that’s just NOT true!

So with all of this in mind, if you’re not feeling “good enough” right now, it’s time to adjust your thinking.

It starts with acknowledging that all emotions come from within.

I want you to think about ONE self-limiting belief you have about yourself — one area of your life where you feel like you’re not good enough. It can be about any part of your life you hope to change – your health, your weight, your job, your relationship – anything at all. What’s one thing you’ve essentially decided is a fact about your place on this Earth?

And then I want you to immediately shift gears and think about ONE time, one fleeting moment, in which the opposite of that ‘fact’ was true for you. I don’t care how tiny of a victory it was, or even if it was a partial victory. What’s one moment in time you can look back on and say, “Hey, that was totally unlike ‘me’ – but I did it!”?

Once you identify the cracks in the wall of a self-limiting belief, you can start attacking it. You can start taking steps forward every day that go against it – tiny victories, more confidence, gradual momentum, bigger victories, even more confidence, and so on…

Until your thoughts and your reality change for good!

You CAN think better, and you CAN live better!

Who’s Kenya’s Designated Survivor?

Who’s Kenya’s Designated Survivor?

Kenya nchi yangu, naipenda kuliko asali…” (I love my country Kenya more than honey), sang one of the patriotic state choirs early this morning on a local TV station. Those beautiful rhythms bring back the nostalgia of what this special day meant to me when I was a kid.

 We’d wake up early, to watch our heroes and freedom fighters. Learn a thing or two about their role in making Kenya an independent and democratic sovereign nation. Religiously and keenly follow the defense forces march in sync saluting and showing reverence to the head of state. Later We’d perch on walls eagerly waiting for the famous jet Somersets and spiralling exhaust smoke that would decorate the blue sky. Funny thing actually is “Kenyatta Day“- as it was formerly known- was always sunny. Hence a blue sky was a guarantee.

Today I don’t know if kids still wake up to watch the TV and follow the proceedings. I bet the culture has slowly and stealthily disappeared from our routine as ‘patriots‘. Do we really have anything to smile about?

These days we are not sure our students in school are safe. When ironically, some years back ,boarding schools were a prestigious and respectable way of going through the 844 system. It was kind of elite. Especially if you were lucky enough to end up in the so called national or provincial school. Is it now? 

Just the other day the Kenyan manufacturer’s body made an expected announcement of looming lay offs amongst their staff. Companies are downsizing and hiring cautiously. A diminishing intent on recruitment and hiring of new staff starting in the first quarter of next year. This is not surprising anymore. That’s what is expected in a politically anxious nation.

But that aside. Bado najivunia kuwa mkenya. I live and die in Africa as sauti Sol put it in one hit. I’ll never stop smiling at the sweet sound and melody of our national anthem being played skillfully by the defense forces band. The slow beats. A patriotic beat that melts my heart and reminds me am Kenyan. There might not be much to smile about. But there is a lot to be grateful for. 

Life has to move on, it’s about time we celebrated the small insignificant achievements we are making as individuals within this nation. We should learn to adopt a gratitude attitude. Extend trust and love to the next door neighbor and truly see politics as the game it is. Realistically this is just a fight between the haves. Let them. The have nots should be rational and cautious. Don’t die like a fool for someone who doesn’t even know your surname. Want to be a hero? Do it the right way and fight for a worthy cause. Fight for peace and cohesion.

We have our children. Families. sportsmen and women. Our institutions. Our diverse heritage.Our defense forces. Religious freedom still. Plus a tropic climate that makes excursions all year long suitable. Maybe when we learn to appreciate the little and good we have. We won’t be so darn worried about who takes it all but rather what they will bring with them in leadership.

Hopefully that person is the designated survivor like Kirkman ready to do just.

I think its about time Kenya sworn in its designated survivor so we can move on and concentrate on other things. What do you think?

Breathe peace. Exhale peace. Happy Mashujaa day!

How to slow it down

How to slow it down

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Leonardo Da Vinci once said that, and I don’t think anything could be closer to the truth.

But how can we bring more simplicity into our complex lives? How can we uncomplicate things for ourselves?

It’s time for a reality check…

Life is actually pretty simple, but we insist on making it complicated!

Here are a few easy ways to uncomplicate it:

1. Learn from the past, and then get the heck out of there! – Past mistakes should teach you to create a wonderful future; not cause you to be afraid of it. Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones. Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience. Success is not about where you are standing at any given point in time; it’s about how much you’ve learned and how far you’ve come to get there.

2. Focus on being productive, not being busy. – Don’t just get things done; get the right things done. Results are always more important than the time it takes to achieve them. Stop and ask yourself if what you’re working on is worth the effort. Is it bringing you in the same direction as your goals? Don’t get caught up in odd jobs, even those that seem urgent, unless they are also important. Identify what’s most important to you. Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else. No wasted time, no fluff, no regrets.

3. Organize your space. – Start clearing clutter. Get rid of stuff you don’t use and then organize what’s left. Keeping both your living and working areas organized is crucial. If you have a cluttered space, it can be distracting and stressful. A clear space is like a blank canvas, available to be used to create something great.

4. Be efficient. – Stop being inefficient simply because you’ve always done it that way. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Many times we live with unplanned, complex systems in our lives simply because we haven’t given them much thought. Instead, streamline your life by finding better ways of handling common tasks. Focus on one system at a time (your cleaning system, your errands system, your paperwork system, your email system, etc.) and try to make it simplified, efficient, and logical. Then, once you have it perfected, stick to it.

5. Let things be less than perfect. – Smile every chance you get; not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have, and all the problems you know you don’t have. You must accept the fact that life is not perfect, that people are not perfect, and that you are not perfect. And that’s okay, because the real world doesn’t reward perfection. It rewards people who get GOOD things done. And the only way to get GOOD things done is to be imperfect 99% of the time.

Wish you luck!

See you again

Life is long. Life is short

It all depends with how you see it.

Sharon dear I appreciate you;

That warm, radiant, unfading smile

That always emanted from your countenance,

Bravely, valiantly you have borne this illness…this unrelenting battle.

And I know you have won.

We are crying  silently because we’ll miss you…

Not because we are a hopeless people.

Every time I look at your beautiful face,

In the window of my mind…

I can’t help but feel your penetrating gaze

Those round and innocent eyes…

Looking into the depths of my soul.

This pain scathes like fire. Excruciating.

This lump on my throat has refused to melt

My eyes are sore and dry. No more tears remain.

I will miss you…

But life must go on little angel

This is another hurdle and we’ll be victors

I choose to keep the faith and hope daily

Your dreams deffered have not vanished

God’s will prevails beyond my wildest wish

Dust to dust and spirit to it’s creator

Till we meet again honey…

In my thoughts and heart you remain.

Not a sad memory but a sweet taste to savour

A legend to narrate to all my future generations

For you lived a worthy life worthy to be praised.

Young as you are, the world is sure swayed sad and shaken this day

Fare thee well my sister my friend and my little angel.

Peace and calm is all you’ll always be in my memory.

An intelligent and humble lady is what I’ll remember you as…

Plus your sweet dimpled smile ever floating in my private dreams.

I’ll see you again. Just a little while and we’ll not be sad anymore.

Goodbye for now sweet Sharon…

Do you Believe you Have what it Takes? 

The most comon way people give up their power is by thinking they don‘t have anyAlice Walker

Sometime ago when i received my first dismissal letter it felt as if the ground beneath me had given way to a tumultous crush and crumbling of my future prospects. Little did i realize there would be more to come:-). At that time all i could dwell on was on how bleak my future seemed in a faded unpleasant oblivion. 

It’s natural to want to hold on and prevent or entirely avoid loss whatsover in our life or even business. The warm and comfortable feeling of familiarity and constancy tends to spark a resisitive element within to resist change and eliminate it.  I had a lesson to learn though that breakdowns lead to breakthroughs. Turbulent conditions can actually elevate one’s skills, show hidden talents and boost your game.  

I had to embrace and learn that i actually needed to move closer to the place i fear most instead of pulling back from it. What we resist will persist, but what we befriend we begin to transcend. Adaptability

Loss and rejection have a way of benumbing the active nerves and emotive bases of our being.  Some shutdown completely. One negative shift in life could throw us spiralling down the steep slope of self pity, despondency and self loathe. It’s in this pit i had unconsciously slid into and i knew i had to summon enough strength to pull myself out of it. 

Within this maze of disillusionment and loss i had to rekindle a habit of active reading.  We can all agree knowledge is power.  (I must admit though that i had fanatically collected lots of books i rarely read end to end). The more i sharpened my mind, the more i realized that the greatest freedom I’ve had; is the ability to choose how i view my role in the world and power at my disposal to make positive decisions in whatever conditions i happen to find myself in (Sounds cliché right?…) 

The more i accepted that success is created through conscious  choices as an inevitable and final consequence of superior decision making, the more confident i became. 

Do you believe you have what it takes? What other people think of you is none of your business.  Personal leadership is about having unshakable faith in your vision and unrelenting confidence in your power to make positive changes happen. Remember, “great spirits have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds-Einstein. “

I’m not there yet- but i believe that if i advance confidently in the direction of my dreams and to live the life which i have imagined, i will meet with a success expected in common hours :-). 

I have stopped wishing for something better rather than realizing that, often everything I’m searching for actually lies exactly where i am.  It’s learning not to take for granted what i have at hand or failing to appreciate all the positive aspects contained there in. 

How about you? Got what it takes? 

If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well‘.-Martin Luther King Jr

Phenomenal Woman (Maya Angelou)

Phenomenal Woman (Maya Angelou)

i just had to share this…to every woman…

The Waas Blog

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Phenomenal Woman

“Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.

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