How to think better about things you can’t change

Ready for the truth?

Most of your stress comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. And when you adjust your thinking, all that extra stress is gone.

There is a real opportunity in every difficult situation to understand yourself more deeply, and also to improve your life.

I encourage you to reflect on recent situations where you’ve felt let down – where life’s outcomes were nowhere near as good as you expected. Rather than focusing on the uncontrollable things that were “done to you,” consider instead your part in what went down. For example, perhaps your gut told you not to do something, but you did so anyway. Or maybe you were deceived a second time by the same person, and wish you had let go of the relationship sooner. Or perhaps you just weren’t paying attention and ended up missing out on a great opportunity.

It’s so easy to be negative when things go wrong, or blame others for negative outcomes in your life. But do negativity and blame change anything for the better?

No!

Truth be told, the best time to be positive and take responsibility for your own peace of mind is when you don’t feel like it. Because that’s when doing so can make the biggest difference.

No matter what the specifics of your troubled times are, taking a moment to look inward at what you could have done differently and how you could potentially avoid similar situations in the future can be a healthy exercise. This is not to blame yourself or shame yourself, but simply to give you the opportunity to learn, on a higher level, from your experiences.

It’s about learning to choose the most effective response in a difficult, uncontrollable life situation.

It’s about learning to think better so you can ultimately live better, no matter what.

The key is to realize that no matter what happens, you can choose your attitude and inner dialog, which dictates pretty much everything that happens next. Truly, the greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another – to train our minds to see the good in what we’ve got, even when it’s far less than we expected.

It’s about choosing: Will I allow this to upset me? Will I choose to make this bad or good? Will I choose to stay or walk away? Will I choose to yell or whisper? Will I choose to react or take the time to respond?

Sometimes changing your situation isn’t possible – or simply not possible soon enough. You can’t get to a new job in an instant. You can’t make someone else change against his or her will. And you certainly can’t erase the past. But…

You CAN always choose a mindset that moves you forward. And doing so will help you change things from the inside out, and ultimately allow you to grow beyond the struggles you can’t control at this moment.

Here’s a powerful question that will support you with a positive attitude adjustment when you need it most:

Who would you be, and what else would you see, if you removed the thought that’s worrying you?

Think about it…

Identify a specific thought that’s been troubling your worried mind lately, and then visualize how your life would be different if you removed this thought:

  • How would it change your outlook on your present life situation?
  • What other possibilities and opportunities might you see?
  • What else would you be able to accomplish with this shift in your focus?


*source: marcandangel

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How to Be More Positive Using 5 Habits

Rewire Yourself To Be More Positive About Life

It’s a common misconception that great achievements are merely a result of hard work and luck. In actual fact, a positive attitude is the most critical factor for any success or living a happy, fulfilled life.

You may not realize but your attitude defines the very world you live through now. It’s the root of all your successes, failures, actions and reactions.

If you’ve ever felt perplexed about how to be more positive,you’ll be reassured to know it’s very much under your own control.

Becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings will allow you to change them on the spot. One cannot simply switch from a negative attitude to a positive one overnight, however, it can be achieved by anyone willing to dedicate time and willpower.

If you’re feeling trapped by a negative attitude right now, understand that positivity is rarely an inborn gift, it requires conscious acts to develop a positive attitude. There’s a number of essential habits you can use to reinforce your transformation

The key to deploying all these habits is catching negative thoughts as they appear, then consciously replacing them with positive ones.

1. Remain Grateful Even When Facing Disappointments

There’s always going to be times when things go wrong. It’s a fact of life, a necessity for growth and eventual prosperity. Yet, during the moment it’s difficult to see the bigger picture, instead, the world seems to cave in around us!

So next time you experience one of those “I wish I’ve never done that” moments, don’t linger within the negativity of regret. Instead, accept that you can’t change the past.

The best thing you can do right now is to learn from the experience, be grateful and move on.

2. Stay Faithful Even When All is Hopeless

Faith is the most powerful driving force, it will keep you sailing true regardless of waves thrown by the sea of life. At times, you may feel hopeless and want to give up, but you must remember they are only momentary.

There’s no use wondering and worrying whether things are ever going to work out, accept the fact that what’s meant to happen will happen.

Have a faith in yourself and continue to do the best you can. Instead of worrying about the future, you should be enjoying and making the most of your current moment.

3. Give Love Even When You Are Unappreciated

True love must always be unconditional, for both self and others.

It shouldn’t be used as a reward, or activated by the right emotions. You’ve got to learn to live through love continually and positivity will flow through you.

If others hurt you with their behavior or actions, stay positive by accepting the fact you can’t control the actions or emotions of others but only your own. Don’t let their negativity influence your reactions.

If you begin to question what’s wrong with you, remember you are perfect the way you are and if others can’t see or accept it then so be it!

4. Trust in the Power of Positivity Even In Times of Hardship

We are all tested at times during life, yet positivity can provide a shining guide that guides you through the darkest moments.

However, if you don’t trust in positivity, you are left at the mercy of others and circumstance.

Always remember that whatever you’re doing or facing, a positive attitude will enable you to perform far better than a negative one. If you find yourself slipping into negativity, reignite your positivity by affirming these beliefs.

5. Failures Can Always Be Blessings in Disguise

Your attitude, whether positive or negative, will apply a filter to every situation you face in life. Negative attitudes suffer the worst failures and their successes are dulled or momentary. Whereas, positive attitudes are highly resourceful, finding value in every situation they encounter.

Let’s say if you got declined for your dream job,  it’s easy to see this situation as a complete failure. Yet by simply shifting your mindset, it becomes a valuable experience.

Perhaps you gained a valuable insight into the interview process, allowing you to far better prepared next time. Or maybe, it results in a different career choice that fulfills you even more. So instead of dwelling on failure, seek out the value and use it to reinforce your future!

Source: Lifehack