How to think better

Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

I bet you do! I know the feeling. We all doubt ourselves sometimes – it’s human nature. And the really crazy thing is, we think everyone else is doing better than us. But they aren’t.

Every day we’re comparing apples with oranges – comparing our insides with other people’s outsides. In today’s always-connected world it’s even harder to keep things in perspective. Our lives are literally unfolding on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. We use these social networks, not surprisingly, to showcase the best parts of our lives: the beautiful weddings and enviable honeymoons, the finished projects, and the best smiles. But we forget that we’re only seeing everyone else’s highlight reel too – not the sleepless nights, the failed attempts, the moments of grief and self-doubt.

Sometimes the indirect pressure to compete and keep up — coming through social media from peers, family, work colleagues, and society in general — is enough to make us feel completely broken inside. If we don’t have the “right” job, relationship, lifestyle, and so forth, by a certain age or time frame, we assume we’re just “not good enough.” And that’s just NOT true!

So with all of this in mind, if you’re not feeling “good enough” right now, it’s time to adjust your thinking.

It starts with acknowledging that all emotions come from within.

I want you to think about ONE self-limiting belief you have about yourself — one area of your life where you feel like you’re not good enough. It can be about any part of your life you hope to change – your health, your weight, your job, your relationship – anything at all. What’s one thing you’ve essentially decided is a fact about your place on this Earth?

And then I want you to immediately shift gears and think about ONE time, one fleeting moment, in which the opposite of that ‘fact’ was true for you. I don’t care how tiny of a victory it was, or even if it was a partial victory. What’s one moment in time you can look back on and say, “Hey, that was totally unlike ‘me’ – but I did it!”?

Once you identify the cracks in the wall of a self-limiting belief, you can start attacking it. You can start taking steps forward every day that go against it – tiny victories, more confidence, gradual momentum, bigger victories, even more confidence, and so on…

Until your thoughts and your reality change for good!

You CAN think better, and you CAN live better!

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How to slow it down

How to slow it down

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Leonardo Da Vinci once said that, and I don’t think anything could be closer to the truth.

But how can we bring more simplicity into our complex lives? How can we uncomplicate things for ourselves?

It’s time for a reality check…

Life is actually pretty simple, but we insist on making it complicated!

Here are a few easy ways to uncomplicate it:

1. Learn from the past, and then get the heck out of there! – Past mistakes should teach you to create a wonderful future; not cause you to be afraid of it. Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones. Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience. Success is not about where you are standing at any given point in time; it’s about how much you’ve learned and how far you’ve come to get there.

2. Focus on being productive, not being busy. – Don’t just get things done; get the right things done. Results are always more important than the time it takes to achieve them. Stop and ask yourself if what you’re working on is worth the effort. Is it bringing you in the same direction as your goals? Don’t get caught up in odd jobs, even those that seem urgent, unless they are also important. Identify what’s most important to you. Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else. No wasted time, no fluff, no regrets.

3. Organize your space. – Start clearing clutter. Get rid of stuff you don’t use and then organize what’s left. Keeping both your living and working areas organized is crucial. If you have a cluttered space, it can be distracting and stressful. A clear space is like a blank canvas, available to be used to create something great.

4. Be efficient. – Stop being inefficient simply because you’ve always done it that way. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Many times we live with unplanned, complex systems in our lives simply because we haven’t given them much thought. Instead, streamline your life by finding better ways of handling common tasks. Focus on one system at a time (your cleaning system, your errands system, your paperwork system, your email system, etc.) and try to make it simplified, efficient, and logical. Then, once you have it perfected, stick to it.

5. Let things be less than perfect. – Smile every chance you get; not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have, and all the problems you know you don’t have. You must accept the fact that life is not perfect, that people are not perfect, and that you are not perfect. And that’s okay, because the real world doesn’t reward perfection. It rewards people who get GOOD things done. And the only way to get GOOD things done is to be imperfect 99% of the time.

Wish you luck!

Do you Believe you Have what it Takes? 

The most comon way people give up their power is by thinking they don‘t have anyAlice Walker

Sometime ago when i received my first dismissal letter it felt as if the ground beneath me had given way to a tumultous crush and crumbling of my future prospects. Little did i realize there would be more to come:-). At that time all i could dwell on was on how bleak my future seemed in a faded unpleasant oblivion. 

It’s natural to want to hold on and prevent or entirely avoid loss whatsover in our life or even business. The warm and comfortable feeling of familiarity and constancy tends to spark a resisitive element within to resist change and eliminate it.  I had a lesson to learn though that breakdowns lead to breakthroughs. Turbulent conditions can actually elevate one’s skills, show hidden talents and boost your game.  

I had to embrace and learn that i actually needed to move closer to the place i fear most instead of pulling back from it. What we resist will persist, but what we befriend we begin to transcend. Adaptability

Loss and rejection have a way of benumbing the active nerves and emotive bases of our being.  Some shutdown completely. One negative shift in life could throw us spiralling down the steep slope of self pity, despondency and self loathe. It’s in this pit i had unconsciously slid into and i knew i had to summon enough strength to pull myself out of it. 

Within this maze of disillusionment and loss i had to rekindle a habit of active reading.  We can all agree knowledge is power.  (I must admit though that i had fanatically collected lots of books i rarely read end to end). The more i sharpened my mind, the more i realized that the greatest freedom I’ve had; is the ability to choose how i view my role in the world and power at my disposal to make positive decisions in whatever conditions i happen to find myself in (Sounds cliché right?…) 

The more i accepted that success is created through conscious  choices as an inevitable and final consequence of superior decision making, the more confident i became. 

Do you believe you have what it takes? What other people think of you is none of your business.  Personal leadership is about having unshakable faith in your vision and unrelenting confidence in your power to make positive changes happen. Remember, “great spirits have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds-Einstein. “

I’m not there yet- but i believe that if i advance confidently in the direction of my dreams and to live the life which i have imagined, i will meet with a success expected in common hours :-). 

I have stopped wishing for something better rather than realizing that, often everything I’m searching for actually lies exactly where i am.  It’s learning not to take for granted what i have at hand or failing to appreciate all the positive aspects contained there in. 

How about you? Got what it takes? 

If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well‘.-Martin Luther King Jr

The 10 Human Regrets

FeaturedThe 10 Human Regrets

Only the mediocre die always at their best. Real leaders are always improving- and raising their bar on how superbly they can perform and how quickly they can move.

-JEAN GIRAUDOUX

Have you ever regretted forgoing an opportunity or chance in your life path that would have proven a sure and better prospect in propelling you toward your personal vision and self improvement goal? What could be the one dreaded thing that lives and eats life away within you and scares the sense out of you yet you keep pushing it further, never get enough time to really confront and do away with it…? Personally i regret not taking up one particular job offer, within one company i so much wanted to work for even for a day…because i was so scared of the work load and culture shock i would meet…plus too much negative opinions from my ‘trusted friends’…how can i just jump onto this when i haven’t even stayed in my current job for 3 weeks…what will my boss think of me…blah blah…

Eventually i found a place in my heart to forgive myself and more importantly learn more about my fears and drives as an individual. What really motivates me…what puts me off…how far can i embrace uncertainty…and most of all how much faith do i have? I realized that getting lost along your path is a part of finding the path you’re meant to be on. Sometimes we need to get off track before we can develop the clarity to be on track.

On that note i owe deep gratitude to one special person in my life, who through their influence, subtle nudge, a strong presence even in absence, iced with a worthy reading culture, has proven to be a constant beam and pillar to motivating me in creating a habit of reading meaningfully.( Of course i have been an ardent reader but truthfully…most of the time just for fun and entertainment. Nothing more or less…). They lent me this book from which i base today’s title…with a usual reminder of how the rich and most successful people tend to also possess the largest libraries. Odd. Simple. Plain. True.

‘A hare inherits a swifter pace than a snail, but a snail may distance him in the end by  slow and sure progress day after day. It is not usually the most brilliant scholar in a college class that wins the valedictory or the highest place in after life. His very brilliance is his peril, for he depends upon it rather than upon hard work, which is the winning horse in the race of life, even though he gets a head-start.’

What our society,businesses,families and communities lack and are in dire need of are enthusiastic,initiative and responsible young men and women ready to be leaders without a title. No one needs formal authority to lead- only a desire. A will to be involved and the commitment to making a positive difference. It starts with an excellence in our current roles.

Leadership has nothing to do with what you get or where you sit. Leadership is a lot more about how brilliantly you work and how masterfully you behave. Right where you stand. One cannot be creative and innovative if they are too scared to think ,feel and be different. Everyone is an original copy of themselves ( unless of course there is a duplicate of you in existence somewhere…i hope not 🙂

So lets dive into this 10 regrets…enough blubbering.

  1. You reach your last day with the brilliant song that your life was meant to sing still silent within you.
  2. You reach your last day without ever having experienced the natural power that inhabits within you to do great work and achieve greater things.
  3. You reach your last day realizing  that you never inspired anyone else by the example you set.
  4. You reach your last day full of pain at the realization that you never took any bold risks and so never received any bright rewards.
  5. You reach your last day understanding that you missed the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the mastery because you bought the lie that you had to be resigned to mediocrity.
  6. You reach your last day and feel heartbroken that you never learned the skill of transforming adversity into victory and lead into gold.
  7. You reach your last day regretting that you forgot that work is about being radically helpful to others rather than being helpful only to yourself.
  8. You reach your last day with the awareness that you ended living the life that society trained you to want versus leading the life you truly wanted to have.
  9. You reach your last day and awaken to the fact that you never realized your absolute best nor touched the special genius that you were built to become.
  10. You reach your last day and discover you could have been a leader and left this world so much better than you found it. But you refused to accept that mission because you were just too scared. So you failed. And wasted a life.

Many times we play victim and blame everything outside of us for the mess we find ourselves in. When we learn to assume responsibility for the place we are now, we begin to realize that each one of us alone creates the lives we get to live. Choices make or break us.

It is estimated that we live an average of 960 months.(subtract the ones you’ve already lived...) Life is short if you really slow down and think about it. Remembering the shortness of life strips away all distractions of life and reminds us what’s most important. Will you just die and be manure or will you leave something to be accredited to you? You do not have to be a freedom fighter or the president. Start where you are. Trust me noble acts have a way of getting out and about.

Ref:

Robin Sharma, The Leader Who Had No Title: A Modern Fable On Real Success In Business And In Life. Pg. 45&46

Wilbur, Successful Men Of Today Pg. 32

Is God In Your Success Story?

Is God In Your Success Story?

Success is quite an elusive topic to extensively cover considering we all have our individual pre-determined scoring cards of what is an achievement and the lower threshold of what is a failure. I have an enormous quest for knowledge and a thirst to really understand some of the unconventional ways we all, as different persons view and conclude in matters of life in general.

Armed with this desire, i have come across different authors, all who inspired and impacted my general outlook on success…but one kind of altered the entire spectrum of how i have been viewing and understanding the whole concept of success – Malcom Gladwell in his famous bestseller title Outliers – The story of success.

Gladwell seeks to uncover the untold elements of famous grass to glory encounters we hear and stumble upon frequently. He clearly points out the discrepancy and popular notion of self-made success. In this book, he argues success is hugely influenced by our place of birth, values surrounding us,timing and most importantly the people we surround ourselves with.

I like it. However, as i progressed it got me thinking…where does God stand in all this? Does he have a role too in the whole picture of success and future accomplishments? Joseph’s story of grace to glory has been highlighted in the book and how the other factors played a role in his rise. So i went back to the original passage- Bible of course- to try and see if i could get extra information or an overlooked fact of the whole story.

First, Joseph from the beginning gets a head-start by being the most loved and favored of his father Jacob. Since he begot him in his old age.Obviously, this pitches him against his brothers who later, due to jealousy, sell him off into slavery. Now i want us to look at Joseph’s predisposed character, environment and the culture he held dear- in relation to his future success. I would like us to also keep an open eye and mind on whether God predominantly played in his progress.

By nature, Joseph was a dreamer. His dreams sure got him into trouble earlier in his teen life but later on they also turned out to be a blessing in disguise. First, he ends up a servant in an Egyptian officials’ house called Potiphar, as the story unfolds; his master notices that the Lord is with him hence ,he prospers. So Potiphar makes him in-charge of all his servants and possessions. Something negative occurs when he turns down the seductive offer of his master’s wife, which inadvertently ,throws him in prison. The place where the Kings prisoners were confined (wondering if this is a disguised blessing too!). The same pattern still continues…there he finds favor in the eyes of the prison warden who shows him kindness and grants him favor because the Lord was with himJoseph is put in charge of all those held in the prison and made responsible for all that is done there.

Still with me? It does not matter how well-trained, bred and mannered or richly endowed we are for us to be automatically pivoted to success; some greater invisible force has a major role behind the scenes. Which according to me, is a stark contrast to what we popularly hold true and close to our hearts- self made. It is all Gods will and favor upon us daily. Other things are well beyond rational explanation in the way they happen.

Another idea in my current read is the Matthew effect- a bible verse in Matthew that states; ‘whosoever much has been given, much will be added in abundance and whoever has little even it will be taken away.’ Looking at it generally it seems true. The richest get huge tax pay cut offs, the smartest get scholarships, the most talented get popular and so on…what about the rest? Are they locked out of the success curve? Some, like Joseph, have risen in much unconventional ways because the bottom line lies- God is with them. They do their part and let Him handle the rest as he did with Joseph.

We tend to look at success from a skewed point of view that most times we fail to recognize the role of God in it all. We give credit and overplay certain aspects of the whole circumstance that even though they have contributed to the whole achievement, cannot overshadow the will of the Lord.

Fast forward to Joseph’s success story. The climax is when the Pharaoh, pagan, admits that Joseph is surely being led by God. This unseen power is what makes him discerning and wise. He goes on to place him in charge of the palace and his subjects. Joseph a foreigner. Pharaoh is so amazed that he exclaims, ‘ can we find anyone like this man? One in whom is the spirit of God?’  Its an indirect admission to the works of God despite the individual brilliance, determination and a great character.

It does not matter your place of birth, who favored you or did not, how rich or poor you are ( disadvantages and opportunities still do create the gap); but one thing stands out…do His will and he will Lift you up. No philosophy can go round it. No intellect can go beyond this simple reasoning. God has and still reveals it in all who choose to be led and guided by him daily. Yes He does play, and actually casts the final vote in who he wants you to be. More like the Jonah analogy…eventually he ended up in Nineveh.Is God in your success story?

But remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the ability to produce wealth,and so confirms his covenant ,which he swore to your ancestors as it is today. Deuteronomy 8:18

REF: 1. OUTLIERS-The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell

2. NIV BIBLE Genesis  chapter 37 & 41