Authentic – Live, Don’t Just Exist!(Learn & Believe).


“I don’t think others like me. They like versions of me that I have somehow spun for them… versions of me that they have invented in their minds… versions of me with only the characteristics that are easy to like. But that’s not who I really am. And it scares me. After all, who’s going to like the girl that can’t stop second-guessing herself? The girl that cries? The girl that’s losing control? The girl that hides from her problems? The girl that keeps pushing everyone away? Who’s going to like the weakness in me… who’s going to like the real me?”

I have struggled with these thoughts before while going through a moderate bout of depression. What gradually healed me was the realization that running away from myself was a race I’d never win — that the willingness to own my truth and be openly vulnerable about it was the only path forward. 

Doing so, of course, wasn’t easy — it’s one of the most brutal lessons I’ve ever had to learn. And yet, it’s this lesson that ultimately makes my life more beautiful, by showing me how to thrive even through the toughest of times.

Being vulnerable means accepting who you are and having the courage to share it with the world. To show up, not as who you think you should be or who you want people to think you are, but as the real YOU, and to be open and welcoming to however the world responds. It’s risky, but not nearly as hazardous as giving up on true love and honesty and acceptance – the priceless experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the dark corners of ourselves will we discover the hidden power of our inner light.

 So please remember, no matter what age, race or sex you are, underneath all your external decorations you are a pure, beautiful being. You have light to shine, and missions to accomplish. Celebrate being different, off the beaten path, a little on the weird side, your own special creation. If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new stream to swim in. But don’t deny yourself… embrace yourself!

Be YOU in a world that’s trying to influence every move you make.

Take the road less traveled when it feels right under your feet.

Do more than just exist. We all exist. The question is: Do you live?

Own your truth. And LIVE!

So you can learn from life and believe in your journey again.

In fact, only remember two words from this: “Learn” and “Believe.”

*Learn: learn through experience. Learn from others. Remain humble, open-minded and teachable. Put yourself out there and let it all sink it. Push yourself to the edge of your comfort zone, so you can expand it and grow a little more confident every day.

*Believe… in yourself and your ability to succeed. Believe in your intuition, especially when you have to choose between two good paths. Believe that the answers are out there waiting. Believe that life will surprise you again and again. Believe that it’s all worth your while. Believe that you are confident enough to see it through.

#happy valentines. Lots of love 🙂

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Legacy- who will remember you, for what?

When we don’t learn lessons at the right time, life will teach us the same lessons at the wrong time.

Death today is a common experience to most, if not all of us folks. If I’m not the one writhing to the painful tunes it leaves behind savagely, someone else, sure is dancing under its realm. 

Over the past decade I have lost and seen many of my loved ones go from the face of the earth into the deep sleep of death.

 Some have gone with their good deeds trailing slowly behind them while some, sad to say, have melted away like dew. More like they never existed. Extinct.

One thing evident about death, as much as it rouses wanton and dark thoughts, is that it chooses anyone and can come at any age or time. When I was young I thought only old people die…full of life’s experiences and rich,ripe in age but growing up, I have buried someone close who was barely out of teenage hood with all their dreams and ambitions tossed into nothingness like chaff. It’s sad but it’s the reality of life.

If today were your last day on earth, how would you be remembered?

Life is a blink. It all rushes by in a fast, little flash when you really get down to it. The time to think about legacy and how you want to be remembered is not on your last day but now. That way you can live your life backward and make certain that you have a good ending.

Unfortunately most of us don’t figure out what work and life are all about until we’re too old to do anything about it. Most people dont discover how to live until just before they die.

During their best years, too many are in a walking coma. Not really conscious to what’s truly important in life: showing leadership,actualizing your potential and doing your part to change the world through the work you are doing and the person you are becoming.

Only when confronted with the wake up call of an imminent end do the sleep walkers start to dig beyond the superficial and go deep. They begin to realize that at birth they’d received stunning talents and precious gifts along with the corresponding responsibility to polish that genius so they could express itself over them in the process. 

By the time all this sinks in and it’s time to figure it out; it’s too late to do anything about it. So they die unfulfilled.

Are you a sleep walker sailing aimlessly through life? What’s your purpose? Any legacy you’ll leave if today was your last day on earth?

8 Things in Life you should start doing

“If only…”  These two words paired together create one of the saddest phrases in the English language.


Here are eight choices that ultimately lead to this phrase of regret, and how to elude them throughout 2018:

1.  Worrying about mistakes you’ve already made. – It’s OK if you’ve messed up in the past; that’s how you get wiser. Give yourself a break. Don’t give up. Great things take time, and you’re getting there. Let your mistakes be your motivation, not your excuses. Decide right now that negative experiences from your past won’t predict your future.

2.  Wearing a mask to impress others. – If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it.  Because when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are.  So don’t fear the judgments of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you.  You don’t have to be perfect to impress people.  Let them be impressed by how you deal with your imperfections.

3.  Keeping negative company. – Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude give it to you.  Don’t let them get to you.  They can’t pull the trigger if you don’t hand them the gun.  When you remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation, you free yourself to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead of anxiety.

4.  Holding tight to resentment. – Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness, nor forgiveness for acceptance. It’s about knowing that resentment is not on the path to happiness. Remember, you don’t forgive people because you’re weak. You forgive them because you’re strong enough to know that people make mistakes.

5.  Settling for less than you deserve. – Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to fight for what you deserve.  Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand up taller than you ever were before.  Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clearer vision again.  Don’t settle.

6.  Endlessly waiting until tomorrow. – The trouble is, you always think you have more time than you do.  But one day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do.  And at that point you either will have achieved the goals you set for yourself, or you will have a list of excuses for why you haven’t.

7.  Being lazy and wishy-washy. – The world doesn’t owe you anything, you owe the world something.  So stop daydreaming and start DOING.  Develop a backbone, not a wishbone.  Take full responsibility for your life – take control.  You are important and you are needed.  It’s too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday.  Someday is now; the somebody the world needs is YOU.

8.  Being more busy than you are productive. – There’s a big difference between being busy and being productive. Don’t confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but never makes any forward progress.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  At the end of it, let there be no excuses, no explanations, and no regrets.  You can make adjustments starting NOW that will help you feel better, think more clearly, and live a life free of regrets.

Own your life…

How to think better about things you can’t change

Ready for the truth?

Most of your stress comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. And when you adjust your thinking, all that extra stress is gone.

There is a real opportunity in every difficult situation to understand yourself more deeply, and also to improve your life.

I encourage you to reflect on recent situations where you’ve felt let down – where life’s outcomes were nowhere near as good as you expected. Rather than focusing on the uncontrollable things that were “done to you,” consider instead your part in what went down. For example, perhaps your gut told you not to do something, but you did so anyway. Or maybe you were deceived a second time by the same person, and wish you had let go of the relationship sooner. Or perhaps you just weren’t paying attention and ended up missing out on a great opportunity.

It’s so easy to be negative when things go wrong, or blame others for negative outcomes in your life. But do negativity and blame change anything for the better?

No!

Truth be told, the best time to be positive and take responsibility for your own peace of mind is when you don’t feel like it. Because that’s when doing so can make the biggest difference.

No matter what the specifics of your troubled times are, taking a moment to look inward at what you could have done differently and how you could potentially avoid similar situations in the future can be a healthy exercise. This is not to blame yourself or shame yourself, but simply to give you the opportunity to learn, on a higher level, from your experiences.

It’s about learning to choose the most effective response in a difficult, uncontrollable life situation.

It’s about learning to think better so you can ultimately live better, no matter what.

The key is to realize that no matter what happens, you can choose your attitude and inner dialog, which dictates pretty much everything that happens next. Truly, the greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another – to train our minds to see the good in what we’ve got, even when it’s far less than we expected.

It’s about choosing: Will I allow this to upset me? Will I choose to make this bad or good? Will I choose to stay or walk away? Will I choose to yell or whisper? Will I choose to react or take the time to respond?

Sometimes changing your situation isn’t possible – or simply not possible soon enough. You can’t get to a new job in an instant. You can’t make someone else change against his or her will. And you certainly can’t erase the past. But…

You CAN always choose a mindset that moves you forward. And doing so will help you change things from the inside out, and ultimately allow you to grow beyond the struggles you can’t control at this moment.

Here’s a powerful question that will support you with a positive attitude adjustment when you need it most:

Who would you be, and what else would you see, if you removed the thought that’s worrying you?

Think about it…

Identify a specific thought that’s been troubling your worried mind lately, and then visualize how your life would be different if you removed this thought:

  • How would it change your outlook on your present life situation?
  • What other possibilities and opportunities might you see?
  • What else would you be able to accomplish with this shift in your focus?


*source: marcandangel

How to think better

Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

I bet you do! I know the feeling. We all doubt ourselves sometimes – it’s human nature. And the really crazy thing is, we think everyone else is doing better than us. But they aren’t.

Every day we’re comparing apples with oranges – comparing our insides with other people’s outsides. In today’s always-connected world it’s even harder to keep things in perspective. Our lives are literally unfolding on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. We use these social networks, not surprisingly, to showcase the best parts of our lives: the beautiful weddings and enviable honeymoons, the finished projects, and the best smiles. But we forget that we’re only seeing everyone else’s highlight reel too – not the sleepless nights, the failed attempts, the moments of grief and self-doubt.

Sometimes the indirect pressure to compete and keep up — coming through social media from peers, family, work colleagues, and society in general — is enough to make us feel completely broken inside. If we don’t have the “right” job, relationship, lifestyle, and so forth, by a certain age or time frame, we assume we’re just “not good enough.” And that’s just NOT true!

So with all of this in mind, if you’re not feeling “good enough” right now, it’s time to adjust your thinking.

It starts with acknowledging that all emotions come from within.

I want you to think about ONE self-limiting belief you have about yourself — one area of your life where you feel like you’re not good enough. It can be about any part of your life you hope to change – your health, your weight, your job, your relationship – anything at all. What’s one thing you’ve essentially decided is a fact about your place on this Earth?

And then I want you to immediately shift gears and think about ONE time, one fleeting moment, in which the opposite of that ‘fact’ was true for you. I don’t care how tiny of a victory it was, or even if it was a partial victory. What’s one moment in time you can look back on and say, “Hey, that was totally unlike ‘me’ – but I did it!”?

Once you identify the cracks in the wall of a self-limiting belief, you can start attacking it. You can start taking steps forward every day that go against it – tiny victories, more confidence, gradual momentum, bigger victories, even more confidence, and so on…

Until your thoughts and your reality change for good!

You CAN think better, and you CAN live better!

How to slow it down

How to slow it down

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Leonardo Da Vinci once said that, and I don’t think anything could be closer to the truth.

But how can we bring more simplicity into our complex lives? How can we uncomplicate things for ourselves?

It’s time for a reality check…

Life is actually pretty simple, but we insist on making it complicated!

Here are a few easy ways to uncomplicate it:

1. Learn from the past, and then get the heck out of there! – Past mistakes should teach you to create a wonderful future; not cause you to be afraid of it. Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones. Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience. Success is not about where you are standing at any given point in time; it’s about how much you’ve learned and how far you’ve come to get there.

2. Focus on being productive, not being busy. – Don’t just get things done; get the right things done. Results are always more important than the time it takes to achieve them. Stop and ask yourself if what you’re working on is worth the effort. Is it bringing you in the same direction as your goals? Don’t get caught up in odd jobs, even those that seem urgent, unless they are also important. Identify what’s most important to you. Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else. No wasted time, no fluff, no regrets.

3. Organize your space. – Start clearing clutter. Get rid of stuff you don’t use and then organize what’s left. Keeping both your living and working areas organized is crucial. If you have a cluttered space, it can be distracting and stressful. A clear space is like a blank canvas, available to be used to create something great.

4. Be efficient. – Stop being inefficient simply because you’ve always done it that way. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Many times we live with unplanned, complex systems in our lives simply because we haven’t given them much thought. Instead, streamline your life by finding better ways of handling common tasks. Focus on one system at a time (your cleaning system, your errands system, your paperwork system, your email system, etc.) and try to make it simplified, efficient, and logical. Then, once you have it perfected, stick to it.

5. Let things be less than perfect. – Smile every chance you get; not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have, and all the problems you know you don’t have. You must accept the fact that life is not perfect, that people are not perfect, and that you are not perfect. And that’s okay, because the real world doesn’t reward perfection. It rewards people who get GOOD things done. And the only way to get GOOD things done is to be imperfect 99% of the time.

Wish you luck!